Pro Wrestling Guerilla presents "European Vacation: Germany"
February 18, 2006
Essen, Germany
330 Fans
With Optional Commentary by Disco Machine, Dino Winwood, and Isaac Revell

Disco Machine, Excalibur, and Ronin vs. Tommy End, Tenkgwa, and Top Gun Talwar

There's a lot of arm-based chain-wrestling that starts the match off at a decent pace, and Tenkgwa does some Lucha Libre stuff (mostly counters) to Ronin. Ronin, however, literally proves that substance beats flash when he stiffs the crap out of Tenkgwa. Excalibur gets involved, only to end up having his legs held by Tommy End and Top Gun Talwar, forcing Excalibur into a headstand right before Tenkgwa plants him with a dropkick directly into his ribs. Ronin is able to get his team back in the lead with more stiffness, and the commentators absolutely make my day when one calls Ronin a "younger, chunkier Super Dragon" and another remarks "same ass, though". Yet even Ronin's large posterior doesn't save him from getting pinned, as Top Gun is able to nail the Chipotle at 15:18 to get the win.

Analysis: It helped that the crowd was rabid for this one, yet the match itself was none too shabby. No disrespect meant, but I've seen Disco Machine, Excalibur, and Top Gun Talwar in so many multi-men curtain-jerkers that barely anything fazes me anymore when it concerns those three. Despite the "Hello Kitty" chants he always seems to receive and the ass joke specific for this match, Ronin does in fact wrestle like a younger, chunkier Super Dragon. Suffice to say, I'm usually entertained with what he's able to pull out. Tommy End was alright (I didn’t find anything really noticeable about him) and Tenkgwa was good as someone with a cool mask that can do a bunch of Lucha Libre spots. So, four out of the six gave us our standard PWG first-match, but the other two and a rabid crowd helped turn this into a good beginning for what will most likely be a very interesting show. ***

Baron Van Hagen vs. Ricky Reyes

In another hilarious moment of commentary, Disco Machine says, "I'll beat you all to the punch. Baron Von Haagen-Dazs. There, I've said it. Let's move on." Reyes seems perfectly fine starting out very Low Ki-ish: lots of stiff kicks, jerky movements, things like that. Hagen tries to keep up with Reyes in regards to chain-wrestling, but soon both men start brawling. Hagen generally focuses on the back, while Reyes keeps stiffing the Baron all over his body, even working him over in a corner. Reyes gets caught off-guard and clocked with a surprise, harsh lariat, giving Baron Van Hagen the win at 15:18.

Analysis: This one will mostly satiate your appetite for brawls… short-and-generally-meaningless-but-still-good brawls. Reyes acted like he was in complete auto-pilot mode, and was more of a Low Ki clone than I know he is, so I was a bit disappointed in his apparent lack of care. I got a mixed Stan Hansen/Samoa Joe vibe from Hagen, and while it wasn't as strong a presence as either men (and certainly not combined), I did like his work. Even though the point of this match was most likely just to convince the German fans that a "home" wrestler could win, I still liked it… to a degree. **¾

4-Way Elimination Match: Scott Lost vs. "The Future" Frankie Kazarian vs. Jody Fleisch vs. Steve Allison

We're treated to a quadruple armwringer spot and a brief cluster-**** in the beginning, then there's a multi-man submission spot where Allison gets Fleisch in a Crossface, Scott Lost combo's it with a Sharpshooter, and Kazarian locks on a Dragon Sleeper to Lost. Jody Fleisch botches a Springboard DDT, but it's Allison that is eliminated first at the 5:57 mark. Lost and Kazarian then dominate Fleisch, leading to Fleisch botching the Springboard DDT again, getting caught with a Wave of the Future and eliminated at 11:11. Lost tries the Superman Spear, but gets Kazarian's knees shoved into him. Kazarian follows that up with an Axe Kick for a close 2¾ count, and after a few more nearfalls, Kazarian ends up tapping out to a Sharpshooter at 15:21.

Analysis: Another fun match, one of the best of the night. You're in for some polished chaotic wrestling, blurring the line between a standard spotfest and a well-used stipulation match. There were plenty of cool spots and segments, but wrestling was a deciding factor here, too. Kazarian and Lost played off their history well, and both Fleisch and Allison were effective in their own ways. Although there were some minor things that I didn't like- Fleisch's botching, Allison's cheap elimination, etc. - most of these are negligible and easy to overlook. As a whole, I've got no major problems with this match, and enjoyed it a lot. ***¼

Scorpio Sky vs "The New Superstar" Stevie Douglas

Stevie uses some underhanded tactics (including having his valet interfere on his behalf) to start out in control, and Douglas even hits a Curbstomp to Scorpio Sky. Gimmick infringement! Still, Sky is able to hit a swank DDT to even things out. Sky then hits a suicide senton to push him into dominance. Scorpio then nails a Frog Splash for a killer near-fall; Douglas got his shoulder up at what felt like two and nine-tenths. The light show that plays at the end of a match even starts before the referee talks everyone down. "The New Superstar" is almost able to put Scorpio down with two Half-and-Half Bridging Suplexes, but Scorpio Sky hits a definitive Leaping Avalanche Hurricanrana to score a pinfall victory at 13:57.

Analysis: Two men that were enjoyably semi-standard for most of their match had an extremely near fall and a hot end that helped push this into "good match" status. Both men were very athletic, and seemed to have similar characters: Sky kept with the "look at my abs" thing and Douglas wasn't afraid of showboating too. Not a whole lot detracted from this one, but in turn, nothing made it excellent. The silver lining is that between "average" and "great" is…of course…good. And rest assured, this one was nice, and it adds another solid match to what is becoming a very good show. ***

"The Wonderkid" Jonny Storm vs. "The Phenomenal" A.J. Styles

Styles works in his "dropkick and pose" spot, and he's mostly in control until a "**** TNA" chant gets to him and begins arguing with the fans. They immediately turn on him, and he's caught off-guard with a 360° Pescado and a Hurricanrana before Styles manages to hit the Pelè. He hit it outta nowhere, of course. Styles also manages to get in the Starmaker and even a Pumphandle Gutbuster, both of which get 2¾. After all kinds of nearfalls from both men (including a gigantic Moonsault Armdrag by Storm and a Brainbuster by Styles) and (unfortunately) some botching, Styles hits the Styles Clash at 13:50 to get the win.

Analysis: A solid, fun, entertaining match that suffers from some late-match botches. I'm beginning to have the feeling that the ring isn't the best thing for highspots. The ropes are actually really bouncy, instead of tight. Though this may seem like a hypocritical statement at first ("wouldn't more bounce mean bigger hang-time, PDW?"), this basically means that when the wrestlers push down on the ropes to do their jumps, not a whole lot pushes back. Sometimes the ropes even wobble. Still, I'd hate to blame all the botching on the ring, because some of the wrestlers beforehand managed to hit their spots just fine, and even Styles and Jonny hit some good highspots before the match winded down. The two still put on a good match, though, and Style's heel turn was a decent treat, since it was easily apparent that Styles took out his frustration towards the fans on Jonny Storm. Storm was a charismatic blend of standard wrestling, fluid highspots, and crisp execution, while Styles was…Styles, which has both positive and negative connotations. Yet, when it was through, I was overall satisfied with these two, and you'll probably enjoy this one. ***

#1 Contender's Match: "Mr. Wrestling" Kevin Steen vs. "Photogenic" Chris Bosh

Bosh uncharacteristically goes up top, but characteristically is awesome when he pulls off an Avalanche Somersault Senton out of the ring and into Steen. In an ode to homo-erotic wrestling everywhere, both Steen and Bosh tweak each other's nipples, and then bite each other's heads, and to top it all off, Steen even bites Bosh's nipple. Steen stops his showboating and queerness just in time to hit a nasty Gory Special into a Backbreaker for 2½. Bosh fires back with the Lion****. After some more nastiness, both men assault each other outside the ring: Bosh hits a Tornado DDT onto the apron, while Steen simply throws Bosh into a pole. Bosh manages to hit a Super Sunset Flip Powerbomb, but falls to a Package Piledriver at 16:07.

Analysis: An absolute blast to enjoy that mixed the best of both men. Both Chris Bosh and Kevin Steen played the full spectrum of their characters: Bosh and Steen were hilarious with all the Purple Nurples and biting, but their skill at constant false finishes and excellent selling really pushed this one into Match of the Night contention. This was really detailed as hell, too- Steen focused on the back but took the advantage when he saw it, while Bosh focused on the neck but couldn't handle Steen's adeptness at countering. Both men were experts in their own way and meshed very well. Plain and simple…this was a great match. ***½

Pro Wrestling Guerilla World Heavyweight Championship Match: "The Technical Wizard" Joey Ryan © vs. "Tremendous" Emil Sitoci

The match begins with a lot of armwringer chain-wrestling, and Emil Sitoci is able to hit a Standing Double Stomp. Joey Ryan is able to sneak in an Arm Breaker, and Sitoci's injured ligament soon becomes Ryan's point of focus. Sitoci botches a leap onto the ropes, further proving this highly-estimated and very calculated and especially never duplicated hypothesis: man, this ring sucks for highspots. Both men get in a few false-finishes to get the crowd into it, and both Ryan and Sitoci sneak in a Low Blow to each other. Sitoci manages to get his in right before hitting a Snap Driver and, astoundingly, picking up the win. Unfortunately, our new P.W.G. Champion enjoys his reign for all of ten seconds before the referee orders the match re-started, because while Ryan was able to hit his Low Blow without the ref seeing, the ref was able to spot Sitoci's kick to the gonads. Unfortunately, the ref is knocked out almost as fast as the match is restarted, and in the scuffle to get another referee into the ring, Ryan nails another Low Blow and rolls Sitoci up at 14:04 to retain the P.W.G. World Championship.

Analysis: I'd like to make a point that the P.W.G. Heavyweight belt really isn't a "World Championship". Indeed, after doing some historical fact-checking, I came upon this startling conclusion: Germany and Southern California are, in fact, not the entire world. It'd be cool if they were, though, so no biggie. In regards to this match… I hated the finish. It just wasn't smart. It felt more like a "Dusty Finish", and we all know where that got everybody. There are better ways of keeping your title and sending the crowd home happy than baiting them with a Championship win only to snatch it out of their grasps in under thirty seconds. A great way to do this would be…and I know this sounds crazy, but follow me on this one… how about simply putting on a good match? Both men did this for quite a while, but one cheap-ass finish struck this one down. On the positive side, Emil Sitoci grew a lot since the last time I watched him; he's honestly matured into a credible Championship contender, even if this was just a regular PWG event and Sitoci wasn't getting a big reaction mostly because he was a part of the "home team". Joey Ryan is still able to prove why he's one of the most-hated heels active in SoCal today, as well. I guess this'll have to do, and to be honest, most of the time it does. ***

Pro Wrestling Guerilla World Tag Team Championships Match: Super Dragon and Davey Richards © vs. Cape Fear ("The Generic Luchador" El Generico and Quicksilver)

Quicksilver and Davey Richards are soon shoot-kicking each other, and Davey gets his team in the lead with an Overhead Belly-to-Belly Suplex. Davey Richards then nails a huge back elbow to El Generico, seemingly cracking one of Generico's teeth. To top it all off, Generico has to endure some super-stiffness from Super Dragon. "The Generic Luchador" manages to hit a Leg Lariat, enabling him to get the much-needed tag to Quicksilver. It mostly amounts to nil, though, as Davey nails some brutal stiff kicks while Super Dragon is able to hit two Super Double Stomps. To make matters much, much worse, Super Dragon nails a sickening Curbstomp to Quicksilver, prompting Davey to follow it up with a Standing Shooting Star Press to Quicksilver's back. Generico is able to bring Cape Fear back from the brink, though, as he hits a Top Con Hilo before he and Quicksilver nail a Backbreaker/Split-Legged Moonsault combo. Unfortunately, this brings out a side of Super Dragon we rarely see, as he blasts Generico with the Badunkadunk before nailing the rare Lyger Bomb into one of the bottom turnbuckles, following it up quite viciously by rolling it into an S.T.F. Generico barely manages to get to the ropes, but effectively counters the Psycho Driver with a Half-and-Half Suplex. Generico tries a Yakuza Kick, but gets massacred with a Lariat by Super Dragon. A Lungblower/Powerbomb combo still can't put Cape Fear down, and neither can another cringe-inducing lariat. Super Dragon is then double-teamed mercilessly, but still manages to save his team by kicking out at 2¾. Super Dragon is finally able to pull out the win, scoring an absolutely mammoth Avalanche Tiger Driver on Generico before pinning him at 25:29. Following the match, the crowd starts a big "P.W.G." chant, later transitioning into a "Thank You" chant. Davey Richards gets on the mic, voices his respect for Cape Fear, and the night ends with all four men (even Super Dragon) raising each other's hands.

Analysis: P.W.G. is simply having a massive run in 2006. This is every bit as good as King of Wrestling vs. Super Dragon/Davey Richards. Super Dragon was more old-school than he's been for a while and that perfectly sent a big message: he wanted to make sure the German fans got what they wanted, because Dragon already knew they wanted old-school due to all the "stiff stiffer" chants and the fact that Super Dragon had toured in Germany a while ago. Regarding that, I'd like to say that both of us- myself and the German fans- got exactly what we wanted, because Super Dragon had an incredible presence with his old-looking mask, tassels that extended down near his back, and his constant take-no-prisoners, "**** 'em all" approach to Cape Fear. I marked like hell for the Lyger Bomb spot, and especially the Tiger Driver spot. But Super Dragon can only be so good, and that's where Davey, Generico, and Quicksilver come into play. Davey Richards and Super Dragon are a lot alike, which is why they're so good as a tag team. In this match, it really felt like Davey Richards was some weird alternate dimension version of Super Dragon that didn't have a mask, talked, and did more high-flying. El Generico was Mister "Quirky Face You Know You Want to Cheer", which is his usual character, but he perfected it throughout this match with his constant disregard for his safety and his leadership role that had him never quitting, always helping, and always compelling his partner to keep trying. Quicksilver, to his credit, was great as the "dark horse", the one that isn't supposed to take all that punishment but does, isn't suppose to be the "save your partner from the brink" guy but did, and wasn't supposed to hold his own but was able to work with the best. The wrestling was just as fantastic as you'd expect, with the perfect blend of aerial highspots, stiffness, head drops, and effective mat- and chain-wrestling. You're looking at another Match of the Night, but more importantly, another excellent P.W.G. match that you absolutely need to see. ***¾

Final Thoughts: Pro Wrestling Guerilla is my favorite independent promotion. There, I've said it. I love the atmosphere of their shows, their commentary, and their wrestlers. There's no other way to put it except this: Pro Wrestling Guerilla puts on fantastic events. This happened over eight months ago and it's still probably one of P.W.G.'s best cards of 2006. From beginning to end, top to bottom, there was nothing I didn't like, and there was nothing below or even at average. This is owed to so many things- the variety of talent, the crowd, Dino Winwood and Disco Machine, the fantastic matches, even the great production values.

I'm sorry to say, but even the normally-hilarious team-up of Excalibur and Disco Machine on commentary doesn't come close to matching up with the duo of Dino Winwood and Disco Machine. Dino is an absolute riot on commentary, and he and Disco produced some of the funniest lines, making even the most mundane moments of every match expressly entertaining. At the beginning of my foray into Pro Wrestling Guerilla reviews, I honestly didn't care for the P.W.G. commentary team all that much, but I've grown to love them for their hilarious banter and their realistic, effective commentary.

The arena and crowd definitely added to this match, as well. Seeing a Jumbotron, watching a light show after every win, and having roaming spotlights to enhance your field of vision were a welcome treat to a somewhat dimly-lit arena. The amount of times the action was hard to watch can be counted on one finger, and this is mostly because of the fan interaction: literally, there aren't any guardrails, and the fans stand near the ring. To illustrate my point: the fans were so close to the ring during the main event that Super Dragon couldn't take off his coat and place it outside or even hand it to someone, so he simply lumped it into a pile and stuck it into his corner for most of the match. The crowd was excellent and rabid as hell, but sometimes they were a mixed bag. I didn't think the chants like "**** TNA" and "**** You Joe" and even "**** You Styles" was merited, but I can generally empathize with the German fans: they knew they were in store for a great show, but they still felt cheated. Yet overall they're a fantastic bunch, and most of the time their rabid nature- coupled with the general consensus that they were deeply grateful that P.W.G. was putting on a show for them- only helped many of the matches.

All of this would mean jack **** if the matches weren't good, so it's safe to say that dissecting what really made the show good belies the fact that even if the commentary was highly-pitched static and the show was held in a flea market, I'd still advise you to pick up this show, because the matches on it kick ass. Aside from some small detractors such as Ricky Reyes being Low Ki Jr., the cheap Ryan/Sitoci finish, and the crowd turning on Styles, this was a killer event filled with all kinds of easy-to-love action. The variety of wrestlers and wrestling on this show produces that "jack of all trades but master of all of them, too" aura that many independent promotions strive for, but few ever really reach. This event… it's… a P.W.G. event. Through and through. You know how it is. And if you don't, then let me sum up this entire review with four little words, and two little sentences. Good show. Buy now.

And when you inevitably and rightly feel like thanking me at some point in the hopefully-no-so-later-later for urging you to use your hard-earned dinero to buy this kick-ass show, just remember one thing: I may have told you so, but I wouldn't be telling you anything if it wasn't for P.W.G. All I want on my reviews are feedback, but P.W.G. needs something more important: cash to survive. And trust me; it'll be a dark day in Southern California, Hell, Heaven, Earth, Limbo, the Phantom Zone, Earth-X, Mexico, and even Earth-3 when P.W.G. stops running and you don't get to see shows like these anymore. So…buy the show.

Or else Super Dragon will Curbstomp a kitten.

And if you're the kind of person that would be into Super Dragon curbstomping kittens, you'll also like this show.

You sick freak.

Overall Rating for Pro Wrestling Guerilla's "European Vacation: Germany": ***½