Combat Zone Wrestling presents "Cage of Death 6: Dual Dimension", 12/11/2004
Philadelphia, PA's ECW Arena
1,000 Fans
With Commentary by Eric Gargiulo and John House

Mavens Games (large two-ring battle royal that included Jon Dahmer, DJ Hyde, Derek Frazier, Cory Kastle, Niles Young, GQ, Sean Bishop, and Nick Berk)

I honestly don't know anybody's name, which was a big handicap for me going in since I had no idea who was doing what to who and why they were doing it. What I do know, though, is that a guy gets pinned in nearly twenty seconds, which is pretty funny. After that, a bunch of people swarm out of the locker room, and, of course, insanity ensues. The general consensus is highspots mixed with stiffness, although the spots got a bit sloppy as the match progressed. One particular spot had two guys on the outside, staring at the ring stupidly while they waited for another wrestler to get into position for the obligatory multi-man bump. A few guys eventually bust out some chairs, and what I thought was only a miniscule botch is served up a nice steaming pile of "You ****ed Up" chants. After a couple more minutes of (decent-to-good and mildly comprehensible) insanity, Derek Frazier hits a hurricanrana to reverse out of a powerbomb and picks up the win.

Analysis: I knew no one, and it was my first CZW match…ever…and yet I'm still oddly hooked, even though this thing boiled down to a gargantuan cluster-****. Some of the spots were done well, and while nothing really built up to anything, that can be slightly forgiven due to the sheer number of people taking part in the match. For what it was, though, I liked it, since, as an opening match, it did just enough at just the right level to keep me interested, entertained, and, ultimately, eagerly awaiting more. **½

Kid Kamikaze (with Elisa Bangz) vs. Beef Wellington

Your standard undercard match spiced up with Beef's comedy, Kid's slightly-above-average way of wrestling, and the obligatory hot-piece-of-ass-manager, Elisa Bangz, who, indeed, is a pretty good lookin' piece of ass. Speaking of asses, Beef nails the Ass Punch mid-match, which is, by default, ridiculously oversold and despicably entertaining. After a run-in by Bangz, Kamikaze hits a pseudo-cradle for the "surprise" win. Post-match, Beef, the kind, funny, humble soul he is, drops Bangz on her head with the E. Coli. But fear not! Sexxxy Eddy comes down to help Bangz out of the ring, but does so by carrying her over his shoulder, then lifting up her skirt, smacking her ass a few times, and leaving to, supposedly, have his way with here. Sexual innuendos by the commentators abound.

Analysis: A decent match courtesy of the IWS crowd. Kamikaze and Beef mixed well, but both men gave their standard stuff. Bangz's sole purpose was to have the fans gawk at her, but she, like the wrestlers themselves, fit her respective role to a decent extent. Since this was still technically a "dark match", it was basically thrown out there to give the fans that showed up early a little something to tide them over with before the "actual" show started. And, in that regard, it accomplished its goal, although that carries both negative and positive connotations. **¼

After that, a very nice, very well-done tribute sets up the "real" show. As a first-time watcher, this was basically a necessity to me, because now I'm at least halfway in-tune with why all the matches are happening. Although the song isn't original ("Getting Away With Murder" by Papa Roach), it's used to the fullest of its potential, and the tribute itself is well done and unique. Good job, CZW, and any involved. Of course, all good tributes must come to an end, and the first match soon kicks off.

"Lightning" Mike Qauckenbush, Jigsaw, and Gran Akuma vs. Blackjack Marciano, "Sweet and Sour" Larry Sweeney and Hallowicked

The masked folks and Quack bring the Lucha-infused goodness, while Marciano and Sweeney bring some cluster-**** goodness. Double team moves are thrown in there, and even a triple team move is used for good effect. In the big highlight of the match, Akuma and Jigsaw dive through the ropes at the same time and cross each other, while Quackenbush jumps over them both, and all men hits their respective targets perfectly. This also prompts an "ECW" chant. Blackjack ends up hitting an Avalanche Crucifix Powerbomb for the win.

Analysis: A solid match to being with was helped with a pinch of Lucha Libre seasoning. Even so, the distinction must be made that the match was solid…not particularly good...just solid. Even though everything never really got too hectic, it accomplished what it was supposed to accomplish: everyone got over through various means. Blackjack came out strong and got a win he needed to prove himself to Chris Hero (since Marciano is, basically, Hero's lackey), Hallowicked, Jigsaw, and Gran Akuma had a good "crazy masked wrestlers" vibe going, and Quack pretty much stayed over, since he was over in the first place, even though that argument can be made for virtually anyone else in this match. To re-iterate my main point: the match itself was solid…but little else. **½

All Money Is Legal (K-Murda, K-Pusha, and Dizzie) vs. Spyral, Heretic and Ghost Shadow

Both teams needed to prove their unity as a self-controlled, powerful group, since, going in, All Money Is Legal was in a bit of a dry spell, while Spyral and friends were best known for fighting one another even though they now, and had in the past, functioned as a team. Surprisingly, both teams really hammered home that message of unity, and some of the double and triple-team moves honestly caught me off guard because I'd never seen them before (the argument can be made that I haven't seen them before because I've never technically watched any indy before, but that's another argument for another day). There are also some decidedly sick non-team bumps, like when Heretic takes a wheelbarrow suplex into a corner, among others. Since it's 3-on-3, the cluster-**** spot is eventually busted out, but even that is done well enough to make it entertaining. A.M.I.L. makes the opposing team fight each other a brief comedy moment, and Dizzie hits a Frog Splash to both Spyral and Heretic (who were on top of each other) and picks up the win, giving All Money Is Legal their needed victory.

Analysis: Think of it as one big cluster-**** spot fest, or, if I should be so eloquent, a cluster-fest, or, dare I say it, a fester-****. Even considering that, what helped the match was that the spots were cool, well-placed, and flowed better than a typical spotfest. As said before, this really felt like team against team, and the basic story of both teams needing to function as a unit, and reaping the rewards when they do so, is well done with only a few flaws. Even so, I can't praise the match too, too much, since the thrills were a bit cheap, the entertainment was a tad shallow, and the match itself was pretty regular in terms of what makes a good match: emotion, energy, passion, and so forth. But it did what needed to be done, and did it in a way that was just an inch better than average and bordering on good. **¾

Alex Shelley and Jonny Storm vs. Erick Stevens and Roderick Strong

Even though this match wasn't important in the grand scheme of CZW things, it was meant to further the Strong/Shelley feud while helping to get Stevens and Storm over, since Stevens was a relatively new wrestler (this might've even been his debut, although I'm not sure) and Storm was returning after a lengthy absence due to injuries. Strong and Shelley throw in little nuisances here and there based on how they've been feuding and, therefore, know each other's styles pretty well. Stevens plays the big-man-that-is-athletic character surprisingly well, and hits some good moves including a standing moonsault and a gigantic spear to Shelley that lifts him up full force from the center of the ring, before Stevens himself jumps up and comes crashing down, landing right near the turnbuckles. The "everyone takes out everyone else with their finishers/things that could qualify as finishers" segment is done to good effect as a few near falls add momentum. Storm hits his stride too, and mixes with the big Stevens pretty well, like when Storm gave him a big inverted hurricanrana. Strong finishes Storm off with a Wonder Whirl.

Analysis: The show…it's getting there. All four men impressed me to various degrees, with Stevens being the most, although that was only because I knew Shelley and Strong were decent to being with while Storm was working off some ring rust and, although it could be forgiven, it showed. The match was a bit slow, and even a tad sloppy near the end parts, but other times it got really hectic and fiery, and even if all four men never really tore up the ring, they probably left a few slash marks. Yet there really was no middle ground…they were either "on", or they weren't. Still, I considered it the best match, but only up to this point, and only by a little bit. **¾

Falls Count Anywhere, Loser Leaves CZW Match for the CZW Junior Heavyweight Championship: Sonjay Dutt (c) vs. M-Dogg 20

Since this was a conclusion of a pretty bitter feud, and the match itself being fueled by raging rumors of Dutt leaving for TNA, both men come out firing on all cylinders and quickly brawl into the crowd. They later brawl into the men's bathroom as well, and when Sonjay is rammed into a door, a fan comes out from the stall and remarks, "Hey! You hit me in the ****ing nuts!" Crotch-related hilarity aside, M-Dogg plays up his athletic background by climbing a huge pole, then doing his hanging-on-vertically stall before crashing down from very high onto Sonjay, shattering the table Dutt had been placed on and eliciting a big "Holy ****" chant from both the crowd and myself. Both men are never really the same, and struggle to recuperate after the colossal bump. Dutt eventually hits the Hindu Splash, only for Ref Hanson to come out, break up the finish, and toss out the "official" official. Dutt, naturally, gets in Hanson's face, only for M-Dogg to get a rollup, which prompts Hanson to count faster-than-fast and give M-Dogg the fluke win.

Of course, Mr. Zandig is no Dusty Rhodes, if ya wee-ill, and immediately cuts a short promo, reverses the decision, and restarts the match. Seemingly reinvigorated by the decision (or probably because they had a few minutes to catch their breath) Sonjay and M-Dogg go into overdrive, like when Dutt hits a huge Muscle Buster and follows it up with a disgustingly stiff moonsault-into-double stomp. Justice Pain runs out and gives Dutt and Pain Thriller, but Sonjay kicks out. Nick Gage is the next to run out, and serves up a big Chokebreaker to M-Dogg, but now it's his turn to kick out. What Dogg does not kick out of, however, ends up being a Tornado Springboard DDT, giving Dutt the win, and, of course, giving the fans a chance to start the much-loved "Goodbye" chant as a final middle finger to M-Dogg.

Analysis: False finishes, sweet spots, and overall a very hectic match that had a lot of emotion and brutality. Everything had a rhyme and a reason, even the false finishes. Personally, though, I feel they could've done better: the "Falls Count Anywhere" stipulation was used once and never again, basically for the first five minutes and just so M-Dogg could hit that blow-away spot which, truthfully, did blow me away. The match was a worthy title match, but even with a lot of emotion, I personally think that both men didn't really wrestle their best, and the "Loser Leaves CZW" stipulation was basically an afterthought when it should have been the biggest factor, one that really could've helped make this match great. As a whole, the match succeeded as a Junior Heavyweight Championship match, but that just means that, even as a good feud ender, the match only did one of its three stipulations right. In an effort to not be too overly cynical, judging on what the match was compared to what it could or probably should have been, I was still pleased. They didn't push each other to the limit…but they did push each other quite hard. ***

Xtreme Strong Style Tournament 2004 Finals: B-Boy vs. Dan Maff

Straight from New Japan and into your ass…this tournament is XTREME! And, for the most part, extremely shallow. Both Maff and B-Boy take turns stiffing each other throughout the match, and, sine it's an XTREME tournament, bust out the chairs and tables. Some good spots are thrown in there, though, like when Maff takes a sick exploder suplex into the turnbuckles and B-Boy is powerbombed through a table into the turnbuckles. The finish comes when B-Boy nails some dropkicks in the corner to Maff's face, with the final one being chair-assisted and putting away Maff for the win.

Analysis: Pretty short, anti-climatic match that felt more like the opening round of a tournament rather than the final. It was good enough, and even though it had its purpose, I didn't feel any real emotions other than "meh". While what I saw was (just) enough to hold my interest, and even make a halfway entertaining match, there's nothing I hadn't seen done plenty of times before, and done much, much better.

Post-match, Chris Hero runs in, attacks B-Boy, and cuts a promo. Zandig then runs out, nails Hero, also cuts a promo, and orders Hero (who had been bitching about not having a match) to defend his CZW Ironman Championship, leading to…

CZW Ironman Championship Match: Chris Hero (c) vs. B-Boy

Given that one of the competitors has already had a stiff (yet short) match, I wasn't expecting a whole lot. B-Boy and Hero take turns brutalizing each other, and Marciano comes out to play the role of the lackey that helps the champion cheat. This is accomplished decently, with Marciano doing just enough to not be redundant, but not enough to really mean anything except to tease a finish or two. Hero and B-Boy do end up pulling out some good spots and segments, though, and, after a barrage of shots, B-Boy hits a Shining Wizard on Hero, which causes Hero to turn around, propel backwards, and smack right into a chair that was positioned between the turnbuckles. B-Boy grabs Hero into a backslide and gets the win, a key victory in his feud with Chris Hero, and a title all at once.

Analysis: Consider it a lot like the first match, except longer. Then again, longevity didn't exactly mean that it was a better match. Although it had its moments here and there, most of it felt very by-the-numbers. Although there were a few reasons for this factor to be forgiven, the match was still o.k., but far from great. Maybe not a worthy title change, but one that at least ended up being believable. **½

Super Dragon and Excalibur vs. Kevin Steen and El Generico

West Coast meets…erm…Canada. Pre-match, Steen cuts a short promo calling out Super Dragon and telling the Generic one to put aside their own personal differences in light of the bigger goal: to kick some ass. One would expect a brutal, stiff, athletic, high-octane affair, given that all four men know each other well and have worked together and against each other to make some memorable moments. One would be right. To this effect, everybody goes completely ape-**** on each other with seemingly non-stop brutality interspersed with well-timed high impact moves. Some highlights include El Generico's 180° Moonsault to the outside, Steen's top-rope somersault senton to the outside, and Super Dragon going all-out in his dickhead heel role in a few comedy spots. All four men tease their finishers, before a big "everyone takes out everyone else" spot, followed by Generico hitting the BRAINBUSTAH~. The action then shockingly gets even better, as the four go all-out with huge moves that are barely broken up. Dragon ends up the victor after a sickeningly fluid Psycho Driver that drops Generico right on the crown of his head. Post-match, Steen, pissed off at losing to his rival once again, turns on Generico and gives him a Package Piledriver. Super Dragon makes the save, only for Excalibur to turn on Generico, followed up with a double stomp to Generico's face through a chair by Super Dragon, with a final "comedy" spot to really put over how much of a dickhead Dragon really is.

Analysis: A mild beginning, mild-to-hot middle, hot-as-all-hell ending, and clever post-match shenanigans made not only a good match, but one that accomplished a lot in regards to future match-ups. Everyone, every last person involved, came out looking better than they did going in. Steen came out as so infuriated and obsessed with beating Super Dragon that he couldn't stand losing at all, even if he never got pinned. Excalibur came off great as the sniveling heel that could actually get it done quite well. Super Dragon, as stated before, played to perfection the type of heel he wanted to play, while Maximo was put over strong as the quirky, fun character that ended up getting the **** beaten out of him, giving the fans another big reason to get behind someone they were already behind (given the massive "Ole" chants). What's shocking is that, for a match that accomplished so much story-wise, it accomplished the same amount, maybe even more, in terms of the actual match itself. Nothing ever stalled, although, to be honest, it felt a tad lukewarm at times. In the end, the little nagging tidbits can't stand up and are easily forgettable in the grand scheme of a good match. ***¼

Ladders and Scaffolds Match for the CZW World Heavyweight Championship and a $10,000 Bounty: Kaos vs. Adam Flash vs. Messiah (c)

As one would guess, the championship was suspended high above the ring, and the only way to get to it was to climb a ladder onto a scaffold and yank the belt down. Since, in story-line, a "bounty" had been placed on Messiah's head, whoever won the match would also get the bounty. As expected, both men were gunning for Messiah in a big way, but, of course, their ego's came into play and it was only a matter of minutes before the impromptu duo self-imploded and began fighting each other. Messiah responds by taking it to both men, even nailing a neckbreaker/DDT combo and a double submission. The ladders are soon broken out, leading to a few good spots, and one that actually made me a bit queasy, but for a different reason than violence: Kaos rams a ladder in Messiah's nether regions, then grabs another ladder, and slams the ladder still positioned near Messiah's crotch…right back into Messiah's crotch. Adam Flash is soon subjected to the same spot. All three men then take turns falling off some ladders. After that, the match really slows down, and all men slowly get onto the scaffold, where Kaos takes a huge bump off the scaffold onto three ladders positioned in-between the two rings. Messiah then grabs the belt, fends off Adam Flash, and grabs the briefcase.

Analysis: The first 5-10 minutes were a real show-stealer…then it went rapidly, rapidly downhill. Think of it as a big firework display that ends up causing a forest fire: it ended up doing worse damage than the couple minutes of enjoyment merited. The pace was really super-slow at times, and it wasn't even a good spotfest or cluster-**** aside from a few exceptions. As a whole, it let me down. There's not much else I can say, even though I did like the very early, opening stages of the match. **¼

Cage of Death Match #1: War Games Match for the CZW Tag Team Championships: Team Blackout (Ruckus, Jack Evans, Sabian, and Eddie Kingston) vs. Team Ca$h (Chri$ Ca$h, Sexxxy Eddy, Nate Webb, and JC Bailey)

Words cannot fitly describe the type of crazy **** this match produced…but I'll try anyway. First, to get the stipulations out of the way: the match was under War Games stipulations, meaning a new person would come out every minute until everyone was out, and then an elimination would occur whenever someone hit the floor. A plywood filler was put up to connect the two rings, which came into play a bit later. Finally, the only way to win was to climb a scaffold and grab the belts, which were around the waists of Robby Mireno and Maven Bentley, who were handcuffed to the top of the cage.

Kingston is the first to come out, then Nate Webb comes out and does some pre-match hijinks, including dancing in the crowd with an incredibly obese, shirtless man before groping the man's man-breast, then dancing atop the scaffold. Nate kicks off the match with an early lead, but is soon powerbombed through a table. Sabian is next out, and lays waste to Webb with a double stomp off the top rope with a ladder ad a chair positioned on Webb. JC Bailey is out next and quickly hits some offense to bring Team Ca$h into the lead, until Evans comes out. Sexxxy Eddy is the next out, Kingston is the first to bleed, and Evans takes a sick Fisherman Buster onto a chair. Ruckus is out next, but his arrival is overshadowed by the first big blow-away spot of the match: Sabian hits a top-rope tornado DDT onto Eddy and into at least five or six chairs. Chri$ Ca$h (R.I.P.) is the next out, and comes out in high fashion by quickly climbing the cage and hitting a dropkick to Ruckus. JC Bailey then busts out some thumbtacks, and, as one would expect, utter chaos and insanity soon ensues. Ruckus hits Eddy with a Flacon Arrow into a ladder positioned onto two chairs, and Bailey is the next to be busted open. Ruckus hits a Shooting Star Press atop the scaffold, JC Bailey gives Kingston a double stomp off the cage through a table, and Sabian does the exact same thing to Ca$h, except this time Ca$h has a chair on his stomach instead of him lying on a table. Kingston then clubs Webb, causing Webb to fall from the top rope and into the plywood fillers connecting the rings, collapsing them. Webb is, technically, on the floor, so he's the first one to go.

After this, more utter insanity breaks out. Kingston, after a long struggle, is thrown off the cage and takes a fall through the table for the second elimination. Next out is Sexxxy Eddy, who takes a sickening ladder bump between the two rings, sickening because the back of his neck clipped the ladder, before falling between the two rings and, just like Webb, being eliminated. Evans then takes a fall from the top of the cage onto…nothing; he takes it directly onto the concrete floor in a sickening bump. When the announcer says "Jack Evans…has been eliminated!", John House makes a great call with "Jack Evans has been killed". That's honestly what it looked like. In the other insane bump of the night, Ca$h hits the Ca$h flow on Sabian off the scaffold onto four tables, causing a double elimination. JC Bailey ends up climbing the scaffold, grabs the belt, and, mercifully, it's over.

Analysis: As stated before, words cannot truly describe the insanity of this match. Then again, words could (I just spent a couple paragraphs doing my best to do just that), but some things simply have to be seen. Although it wasn't a classic, whatever the match boiled down to (cluster-****, spotfest, etc.), it should be called one of the shining examples of that field. For a while, I was in awe of what I saw, and that rarely, rarely happens. Sure, I can get excited, even really into the match…but few have ever truly dumbstruck me, and this is one of them. There's nothing else I can really say. ***¾

Cage of Death Match #2 :Fans Bring the Weapons for the Right to Use the H*8 Club Name: The H*8 Club (Wifebeater and Justice Pain) vs. The H*8 Club (Nick Gage and Nate Hatred)

As one would expect, this was an intense, blood-soaked brawl that involved everyone beating the holy **** out of everyone else in many insane ways. The weapons involved truly are crazy: one of those plastic, square fans, a keyboard, a computer, a rain gutter with glass Christmas bulbs attached to it, and, for a little while, a damn rubber chicken. Even after cutting a pre-match promo about how he wouldn't risk his life for the fans, Justice Pain hits a Blockbuster off the top of the cage into a bunch of thumbtacks. Wifebeater, who is taking the sickest bumps, soon takes a top-rope powerbomb through a sheet of glass, then a guitar shot. In the big swerve of the night, Gage turns on Nate Hatred and gives him a Sambo Suplex-like move through a pane of glass with salt and thumbtacks on it. The two brothers (Gage and Pain) then give Hatred two spiked piledrivers, and Pain covers for the win. Post-match, a groggy and extremely bloody Wifebeater shakes hands with Gage and Pain, only to get leveled with a Pain Thriller as Justice Pain turns on his partner, bringing together the two real-life brothers as a team for the first time.

Analysis: Although the match was a tad disappointing because of longevity issues (it was kinda brief), no major complaints for me, given the type of match, what it was designed to do, and what it accomplished. Not the most ultraviolent match out there, but they turned up the violence just enough to make a good match. I just thought it really was too short to be considered anything other than good, which it was. Still, at least for this match, I'm very happy to be content with "only" a good match. ***

Final Thoughts: In a big way, this show hooked me onto independent wrestling the way Pro Wrestling NOAH's "Navigate for Evolution '05" show hooked me into Japanese wrestling. Like that show, I was taking a significant gamble, because, even if I'll never judge an entire genre of wrestling based solely on one show, this was my first full-length indy show, and it would, at least in part, cast the die for how vehemently I would buy indy shows. While it wasn't the best show I've ever seen, it had a great mix of pretty much everything, and I became a fan almost instantly. And, above all else, shows like this really proved that CZW is stepping into its own, and deserves a look rather than being stereotyped as a "garbage" fed due to a certain clip of a certain incident involving certain scissors that happened years ago. The biggest reason to get into this show, aside from the astounding first Cage of Death Match, is simply because the whole is, in fact, greater than the sum of its parts, at least when it pertains to this event. As a whole, not only I am pleased, I'm also interested, excited, and ready to put down more money to watch a fed I've become a fan of with only one event. Given my own circumstances, there's really no better praise I can give other than that.

Which is why, as a whole, Combat Zone Wrestling deserves your cash for this show, and it deserves a better-than-good rating of ***¼.